I’ve been so stressed lately. And I’m trying to get my head in order. It’s so hard to find my motivation. I know why I started. But I just want to eat and sleep. I can’t focus. I’m having such a hard time right now. I feel like I’m half-stepping my fitness right now. Today is weigh day- I’m not really looking forward to it because I’ve been slacking. Even though I know I have support, I do feel alone sometimes. This is my weight to bear and lose. And that is something only I can do. This is a real struggle.
UPDATE: I guess I should have been a little more clear. My wanting to eat has nothing to do with hunger. It’s a compulsive behavior for me. I’m a compulsive over-eater and I’m trying to stop this behavior. This is a eating disorder, just like bulimia and anorexia are eating disorders. This is very much a mental thing. I eat my emotions and I’m super stressed about finding a job and trying to be able to support my family. As of May 17th, I won’t have a job because I’m a contractor and my contract won’t be renewed. I’ll be able to get unemployment until I can find a job- but it will be about a 4th of what I make. As someone who was unemployed for 2.5 years after being laid off (and having a family now)… this is scary and stressful. So I want to eat to make myself feel better. I’m not hungry, I get enough nutrition in my Body by Vi shakes (more nutrition in 1 shake than most people get in a week) as well as my healthy snacks and my lunch. I should also add, I want to sleep to avoid my problems. This behavior is associated with my battle with depression – which oddly enough… also makes me want to eat. These are my mental roadblocks.
Tags: 90 day challenge, Anorexia nervosa, body by vi, challenge, Compulsive behavior, Disorders, Eating, Eating disorder, energy, fitness, food is my frenemy, goals, health, healthy, journey to weightloss, losing weight, Mental Health, move, overeating, Physical exercise, sedentary job, sweat is fat crying, United States, walking, Weight loss, workout