Stress & Cabin Fever

So this past week I’ve been very stressed out, depressed and have what is known as cabin fever. Looking for a job is tough, constantly being rejected is tough, having to move around bills because they can’t be paid is stressful. Being stuck at home is starting to take a toll on me. The last few days (with the exception of Thursday – my stepdaughter’s 8th grade graduation)… have been bad for me. I’ve been over-eating (not like I used to, but eating more than I should to lose weight)… and I haven’t been exercising like I should. I feel very blah. I feel even worse because I had so much momentum going into these last few weeks of my Challenge. As much as I love spending time with my son, I’m a working mom, not a stay at home mom. And I’m not putting anyone down. But I feel more fulfilled working and being a mom. Maybe because I’m busier? I need to be busy at all times. That’s how I need to be- when I’m not I become sluggish and depressed. I have too much idle time on my hands. I tend to over-think things like bills and being overdrawn!? Also, I start to think things like I’m not a good designer and that’s why I don’t have a job right now. I don’t want to settle for being a production artist… even if it does pay the bills. Then I think I should go back to school for something else… and I start looking online at schools and majors and I think… we can’t afford that even though it’d be nice for me- I’d be putting my family in a worst position (It’d be selfish)… So I come to the conclusion that I am a good Graphic Designer and I will find a good job… this isn’t the first time I’ve been in this position and my family and I at least have transportation, food and a home… because at several points in time we didn’t have any or some of those things. Everyone has struggles… but the best part about a struggle is overcoming that struggle. We will overcome… Today is a new day, and I’m going to start it right. I have to keep in mind what is important – me and my family’s health, and well-being… everything else will happen with time.

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