It’s been 15 months since my last post…
I feel like this is a confession, and maybe it is. But I haven’t been doing well, and I haven’t been holding myself accountable. I was just re-reading a few of my old posts… and how did I fall so far off-track? The lifestyle I was so proud to change, has spiraled out of control and has left me in an even worst place than where I started.
After my last post – I will never forget. It was my son’s 3rd birthday and I started having chest pains. Horribly bad chest pains. I thought it was a heart attack. After being rushed to the ER, I found out it was Costochondritis. Which is inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone (sternum). Caused by stress, and more common in women. Still, my doctor wanted to do a ton of tests because of my family history of Heart Disease. This lasted a few months, I even have drafts of updates to this blog about it – though I never posted. It was hard to go though, and my doctor even suggested bariatric surgery to me. He told me “to lose all the weight you need to, it would take you 10 years.” Not very optimistic – that guy, though he had a point. It was hard to hear and even harder to talk about. At the time I was about 270lbs. I had just yo-yo’ed back “up”…
December 2014, my husband and I decided to relocate our family to Michigan. We made the move at the end of January 2015.
Another year goes by, and I was up and down between 255 and 280, skirting with 300 lbs. Super stressed out, and not at all finding the light at the end of the tunnel. I lost my way. I started a lot of things, but didn’t follow through. I lost my motivation, and my optimistic attitude that I once had.
Around November 2015, I decided – maybe I can’t do it all by myself? I start looking into bariatric surgery. I went to a free seminar just for more information. I didn’t know how it worked, I admit – I thought it was the lazy way out. After seeing all the information, and looking up more information on the internet about how it works… I decided to follow-up with a doctor.
This was a hard decision. My husband didn’t understand what I’d be doing. But he was in support of me, and went with me to the follow-up appointment. I had a lot of measurements done. I’m currently around 305 lbs and seeing that and that my current fat % is 48.2, was a serious wake-up call. Literally almost half of me is fat.
So here I am today, blogging. I had 3 appointments yesterday. One with a dietician, one with a behaviorist, and one with my surgeon. It was good to be around so many positive people. This is what they do, they help people in my situation. And I realized, that not everyone is the same. Some people, like me – need help to not just to lose weight – but really to keep it off. That has been my problem. Now, I will have many tools to help me reach a healthy weight.
For me, this hasn’t been about being hot/skinny or anything like that. If I think about my reason – it has always been my son and the hope of having more children. Which hasn’t been able to happen because of my severely obese weight.
The behaviorist mentioned, that the one thing she hears over and over is that so many people have one regret – They wish they had done it sooner… So it’s good, that I’m doing this while I’m young and more and more people are.
I’m changing my life, this year. So, with that Happy New Year!